Right now Gods will feels like a riptide. At first, you don’t even know your in it. Then you panic. And swim as hard as you can towards shore, only to realize that your being swept further and further out to sea.
Over the past year I have failed at all the things in my life that I thought I could succeed at. Everything from careers, relationships, community, family, financial success; I have failed at all of them. I was raised with the gospel of prosperity, informing me that if I did the right thing, that everything would go swimmingly. The harder I swim towards shore, the farther away from me in becomes. So now I find myself compelled to reconsider my course of action.
So my goal for 09 is to allow myself to be swept out to sea, even though it seems insane. I am told that insanity is when you do the same things expecting them to yield different results. If this is true, then swimming harder is not the answer; but nether is drowning. And the peculiar things about Gods will is that by following it means I will be out to sea. I would rather be out to sea for the right reasons, than safely ashore for the wrong ones.
I am going to try and let go of all the naïve notions of what I thought life would be like. I am going to let go of the non-reciprocal relationships that I have inorganically attempted to sustain. And above all, I am going to try to concern myself with the development of my character rather than my perception. Soon this season will pass and all that will have mattered is how I kept myself afloat.
