One of my goals for the New Year has been to let go of non-reciprocal relationships. This has proven to be a successful yet difficult paradigm to actively live out. I have naively attempted to sustain relationships over the years that have been unrealistic and consequently detrimental. And when they naturally start to fade, I have inorganically attempt to resuscitate them. The tragic reality is that perhaps I ought to let them fade. And I am learning to let them fade.
I believe this void I have tired to naively fill is subsequent to my parents divorce. Due to my recent lack of connection with family, I have sought to overcompensate vicariously through connection with people on the perimeter of my life. When perhaps I should merely connect with those closest to me.
This technological age that we are in forces us to keep in touch with perhaps more people then we ought to. Facebook, Twitter, Myspace ect (though, great in proper context); allows us the luxury of illusion to being connected. And it seems to self medicate a far greater need for true community. I don’t know how much it has allowed us to truly know and be known. It seems to paradoxically hybridize this version of acquaintanceship, that doesn’t lend itself to intimacy. And it has been an interesting sociological experiment to intentionally withdraw. And I hope it lends itself towards a grander connection with the people within my sphere that have a similar trajectory towards community and authentic connection.
