I just spent 9 days in Portland visiting family. And subsequently, I had some revelations regarding the generational divisions of parenting.
I realized that each generation acts and reacts differently to the obligation of parenting. They appear to operate out of a desire to cyclically overcompensate for their own relational deficiency.
My grandparents generation lived through the horror of the great depression. So when it came time to raise children they showed their love for them by providing financially. Though this was and is admirable, it left out father’s generation relationally lacking, yet financially sustained.
My opinion is that our parents generation overcompensated by raising their kids to be their comrades. And this is great honor. However, I think it creates an unnecessary obligation to be both our parent’s children as well as their friends. They spent so much time being involved and overly relevant that they didn’t develop their own long lasting friendships. I think this creates an unnecessary sociological obligation. It’s a challenging dichotomy to navigate and reconcile. And I am doing my best. But I am my parent’s son. And I have a difficult time feeling as if I am not letting them down (by being too close, and or too far away) I feel that in some ways they still have some growing up to do.
But I did grow up.
And consequently curious if I become a parent, how I will inherently overcompensate for this deviancy.
